Your Gone
by rachybaby
Summary: It's a funeral. Someone died on a suicide mission and left Elizabeth a pregnant widow. He broke his promise to come back alive.


You're Gone

Elizabeth, Carson, Teyla, Ronon and the rest of Atlantis stood on the South pier; all dressed in black, at the end of the pier stood a coffin, and on this coffin was the USA flag, a military jacket and a photo of the soldier, the soldier's rank visible to everyone. The rank was that of Lieutenant Colonel. The coffin was John Sheppard's. There were flowers and candles surrounding his coffin, for what seemed an age everyone stood in silence and the Elizabeth walked forward and turned to face everyone.

"Lieutenant Colonel John Andrew Sheppard, a soldier, a fighter pilot, a friend, a lover and a husband. John was well liked by everyone on Atlantis, if there was laughter heard anywhere you could be sure that John was the cause, he was popular and had lots of friends, there was on-one he disliked. He cared for his team and Atlantis; many times he risked his life to save this city and its inhabitants. Every time he came back alive, some said it was luck, others said he was just a great soldier…" Elizabeth trailed off tears welling in her eyes causing her voice to crack, she realised what she had written was a load of crap. She placed a hand on her stomach, the baby was kicking, it had been restless since John had left on the mission, Carson had said it was because she was worried and needed to keep calm. Carson stepped forward.

"You ok lass?"

"Yes sorry, where was i?"

"Forget what you've written and speak from your heart, it'll sound better" his words made sense and Elizabeth folded the paper in her hand and looked up at every, it was just a mass of black, some crying others looking just sad one or two looked angry, angry at the fact that John was gone and Elizabeth was now alone, alone to raise that baby on her own.

"I first met John Sheppard in Antarctica it was just after Carson had accidentally tried to kill him and General O'Neill. As far as I was concerned he was just a cocky fighter pilot with the rank of major, I never thought that he would soon become my closest friend, lover or even my husband, it amazes me more that he was even going to be a father…" Elizabeth placed a hand on her stomach as the baby moved again.

"…He could always make the best of any situation; he was the first to make a joke about something that had happened, whether it was Laura Cadmen trapped in McKay's mind or me and him running around with guns trying to kill each other when under the control of Phoebus and Thalan…" a few people laughed at these comments, remembering well the kiss between Laura and Carson well Rodney and Carson even though it was Laura in control, and the kiss between Elizabeth and John. It had been John's jokes that had gotten Elizabeth to have a go at him and then agree to have dinner with him.

"He was one of the bravest men I have ever met, he wasn't afraid to do something that might result in his death, I admit now that every time his team was missing and I was worried I was more worried that he's never return that the others. At first I told myself it was because he was my closest friend I refused to admit it was because of love. In all honesty I never wanted him to go on the mission last week but I couldn't stop him. He had volunteered and we had agreed that we couldn't let our relationship affect our work, besides he had always come back alive before. But this time was different. I'll never forget that last radio transmission before he blew up the Wraith ship. He told me how much he loved me and how honoured he was to give his life to protect the woman he loved more than anything else in the world. He told me that he couldn't have married a more wonderful woman and he was glad it was me carrying his child he asked me to make sure that this baby knew how much he loved me and would have loved it. I told him I'd make sure this baby knew how great and brave their dad was" Elizabeth's voice cracked and tears rolled down her cheeks, she looked around and saw that nearly everyone was crying.

"I know now I should have argued more to make him stay but that doesn't matter anymore."

_Flashback_

The debriefing room emptied, only John and Elizabeth were left, Elizabeth was tidying up her papers and John was watching her.

"What?" she asked realising he was watching her.

"What's wrong?"

"You should know" she said, she was so angry he had volunteered for this mission, he knew he would probably die and wouldn't be here with her and the baby yet still he wanted to go.

"I should?"

"Yes John you _should_ know!" it took John about thirty seconds to click.

"Oh!"

"Yes oh! How could you? You know this is a suicide mission yet you volunteer! You have other commitments apart from the military now John! Like me and this baby!" Elizabeth half shouted.

"You agreed that us being together wouldn't affect our work!"

"Yes I did but I didn't say you could volunteer of every suicide mission that comes up!" snapped Elizabeth, her eyes filling with tears.

"Lizzy please!"

"DON'T LIZZY ME JOHN SHEPPARD! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I WORRY WHEN YOU GO OFF WORLD ON TRADE RELATED MISSIONS! BUT THIS! THIS IS A SUICIDE MISSION JOHN! A SUICIDE!" Elizabeth stressed the last word for emphasis. John stood up and walked over to her and pulled her into a tight hug. Elizabeth wrapped her arms around him and just cried.

"Shhhh, it'll be ok. I promise I'll come back. I always do" John tried to comfort her.

"I know you do it's just this time…"

"This time will be different. Elizabeth listen to me. I vow now that I will come back alive" John looked her in the eyes to let her know he meant every word and she nodded.

"Ok but please be careful"

"I will" John kissed her and headed off to get ready.

"John?"

"Yeah?"

"Come here" John walked back over to her.

"I love you"

"I love you too" he smiled and kissed her passionately, "I _will_ return" and with that he left to get sorted for the mission.

_End Flashback_

"So I just want to say: John you'll never be forgotten and I will love you always. Goodbye" Elizabeth kissed the tips of her fingers and pressed them to the coffin whispering "I love you". She stepped back allowing Colonel Caldwell, the now promoted Lieutenant Colonel Lorne, the now promoted Major Stamps, Ronon, Carson and Rodney to step forward and lift the coffin off the makeshift alter and slowly walk down the ramp to slide John's coffin into the water.

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust: in sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our frail bodies that they may be conformed to his glorious body, who died, was buried, and rose again for us. To him be glory for ever. Amen." They said together as John's coffin slid into the water everyone watched in silence until the coffin had disappeared below the waves. Slowly the pier emptied until only six people remained; Elizabeth, Carson, Rodney, Ronon, Teyla and Lorne.

"Thank you"

"John deserved a proper send off"

"That is true"

"Elizabeth if you need anything you can come to us you won't be alone to raise that baby" said Lorne.

"Thank you, I appreciate that" smiled Elizabeth, and taking Carson's arm they walked back into Atlantis talking about all the stupid and funny things John had done.


End file.
